Most of us have been trained since childhood to account for our choices. The cumulative message is: your decisions require external approval to be valid. By adulthood, this becomes an invisible reflex. We over-explain our "no." We pre-empt judgment with disclaimers. We narrate our reasoning to coworkers, friends, even strangers - not because anyone demanded it, but because silence feels dangerous.
The man I was supposed to marry was someone I had known since childhood - five years older, from a wealthy Sikh family, my sister's classmate, living on the 14th floor of our high-rise building in Mumbai. He was my first crush. When I was 12, with oily braids and Coke-bottle glasses, I thought he was handsome and charming. I spent hours imagining what it would be like if he chose me.