#singlehood

#singlehood

If you have spent any significant time as a single adult, you know that the world feels built for couples and that the people around us often assume we want to be partnered. Until recently, researchers have been making the same mistake about singles. In 2020, Nicole Watkins and Jonathon Beckmeyer created a tool for assessing a person's level of relationship desire and dismissal. Together, these two components explain the importance someone places on romantic relationships in their lives.

Many of the responses were surprisingly similar. The most frequently listed qualities women said they were looking for in a partner were kindness and emotional intelligence, mental and physical health, shared values, ambition and being hardworking, financial stability, masculinity and maturity, and a willingness to commit to an equal, monogamous relationship as well as, in many cases, having a family.

I am apparently too ambitious and goal-driven. Every time I got a promotion, started working on a project or a goal, or achieved something I'm happy about, ex-partners have gotten insecure and then started to humble and belittle me. I used to model, and everything was cool when they thought I'd just be pretty. But when they realize my mind is the most attractive thing about me, they're over it.

"Especially in the cultural background I come from, I would say as soon as you finish what you think is education; it could be a bachelor's or a master's, and then the second you go into a full-time job, then all of a sudden there's a switch, then you should be actively looking to end your singlehood."

At a barbecue, a single person realizes how dramatic life changes are, especially when discussing a friend's marriage, showing contrast between different life stages.