"When someone asks you your relationship status, do you answer "single" but then add a kicker like "for now" or "but I'm working on it" to make yourself feel better? Do you view singlehood as a line that you are waiting in, some stain to remove from your clothes, or some other hopefully temporary state that's waiting to get fixed in some way? If the answer is yes, then here's a surprise. Chances are, you are not going to be very happy being single."
"That's because anticipatory limbo states are rarely happy ones. You don't tend to say, "If only we could wait in this Taylor Swift ticket line forever" or "the best part of waking up is waiting for Folgers or something to be put in my cup." No, when you are hoping that a better situation is on its way, your focus can be on reducing the current waiting period as much as possible, rather than enjoying it."
Viewing singlehood as a temporary condition that must be fixed tends to produce unhappiness because anticipatory limbo undermines enjoyment of the present. Hoping for a future relationship shifts attention toward shortening the waiting period instead of appreciating current experiences and freedoms. Anticipatory mindsets reduce pleasure in daily life and make single people feel like they are standing in line rather than living fully. Choosing to enjoy singlehood emphasizes autonomy, personal growth, and opportunities available now. Accepting the possibility of staying single can motivate making the best of present resources and relationships. The future is uncertain, so maximize and savor current circumstances.
Read at Psychology Today
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