The quiet power of people who stopped explaining themselves - Silicon Canals

"Chronic self-explanation isn't about clarity. It's about appeasement. When you explain why you made a decision before anyone asks, you're not informing - you're pre-emptively apologizing for having autonomy. Psychologists call this excessive justification behavior, and it's deeply rooted in early social conditioning. Children who grew up in environments where their preferences were routinely questioned or dismissed learn to build a case for every choice."

"Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has shown that people who over-justify their decisions are perceived as less confident and less competent by observers - even when the decisions themselves are perfectly sound. The explanation doesn't strengthen the position. It undermines it. Every unsolicited justification you offer is a tiny act of self-demotion."

Over-explanation is a submission signal rooted in early social conditioning where preferences were questioned or dismissed. People who chronically justify their decisions before being asked are unconsciously apologizing for having autonomy rather than seeking clarity. Research shows that excessive justification is perceived as a sign of lower confidence and competence, even when decisions are sound. Every unsolicited justification represents self-demotion, signaling uncertainty about one's right to make autonomous choices. Those who stop over-explaining don't become cold or arrogant; they simply relocate their psychological center of gravity, shifting how they carry themselves and how others respond to them.

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