I am apparently too ambitious and goal-driven. Every time I got a promotion, started working on a project or a goal, or achieved something I'm happy about, ex-partners have gotten insecure and then started to humble and belittle me. I used to model, and everything was cool when they thought I'd just be pretty. But when they realize my mind is the most attractive thing about me, they're over it.
Have you ever gone completely quiet in the middle of an argument-your mind blank, your mouth frozen? Or felt so overwhelmed after a fight that you left-not just the room, but the relationship itself? I've been there. And for a long time, I didn't know why. I thought I was the problem, or maybe I was just cold. Unavailable. But I've come to understand something important:
"Nichole" was 10 when I started seeing her at her school. The school counselor reported that Nicole was talking about wanting to "cut myself in half," prompting concern. During our first session, she reported that she lives with her mom during the week and visits her dad every other weekend. This is common for many kids whom I see, as we live in a time of many diverse examples of family and parenting. In therapy, she began to talk about feeling scared to mention her dad around her mom. When asked why, she shrugged and said, "Because it'll make her mad."