I appreciate the ways others love me, no matter how limited. I am letting go of expecting-or demanding-that they love me exactly as I want them to. I am letting go of wanting others to prove that they love me. At the same time, I can always ask for the kind of love I long for. I am learning to trust others when the record shows they can be trusted, while I, nonetheless, commit myself to being trustworthy regardless of what others may do.
Anger is a deeply human emotion that arises frequently in our lives. Often, it serves as a shield, concealing more vulnerable feelings like fear, shame, rejection, and helplessness. Many of us have a challenging relationship with anger. Anger, like other emotions, usually comes with an "action tendency"-a motivation to do something. We experience anger when our needs are unmet, and we want to take action to correct the situation.
You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me.
When you bite your tongue repeatedly, underneath it may feel like you are avoiding conflict, but often you're actually building up resentment. We all know that the 'bottle it up and implode or explode later' plan does not work well for any of us. Every unspoken thought becomes a brick in the wall that grows between you and the other person.