"To clarify, I am a single mom to two children. My son is in university and lives with me. My daughter just moved out. The neighbor mom came over at 8 p.m. with a key to her house. I told her my son would not be vacuuming her house. I thought this would end it, as I was not happy."
"On its face, this behavior is perplexing, presumptuous even. Maybe she misunderstood a blanket offer of support; maybe she had a separate conversation with your son. Or maybe she's a little too opportunistic and needs redirection. It's not rude to express your confusion by saying something like, Lately, you've been asking me to have my son do chores at your house. I don't know where this is coming from. Can you help me see what I'm missing?"
Neighbors provided extensive support during a traumatic family event and are now asking the neighbor's son to perform household chores. The son is a university student who lives at home and has commitments. The mother has texted late, even arriving with a house key, and has asked for vacuuming and lawn mowing while her husband and son were away. The neighbor declined those requests and finds the behavior presumptuous and puzzling. A direct question should be posed to the mother asking why she expects the son to do tasks, followed by a clear boundary that the son is unavailable and offering alternative ways to help if needed.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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