"You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me."
"I am living with my mom again for the first time in a long time. I am back in my hometown, and as I plan for what's next, living with her seemed like the best idea. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong. Aside from occasional three-week-long visits during holidays, it's been about eight years since my mom and I lived in the same space, and now I remember why."
"She is particular about fridge organization, and no matter how hard I try to adhere to her shelf preferences and systems, I still manage to mess it up. Apparently, all of my showers are too long. She tries to correct the way I do my laundry, and she constantly questions me about my spending because she thinks I receive too many packages."
One spouse exhibits persistent passive-aggressive behavior: avoids defending himself at work, snipes at his partner at home, curses under his breath, and shrugs off suggestions for self-care. The partner feels at wit's end and reports bearing the brunt of his inability to speak up. Recommended responses include setting boundaries in the moment, naming unacceptable behavior, using calm statements like "Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me," and encouraging counseling. Therapy can include role-playing to build assertiveness and healthier confrontation responses. A separate situation describes an adult returning to live with a mother who enforces strict household rules about fridge organization, shower length, laundry, and spending inquiries, highlighting intergenerational friction, unclear expectations, and the need for communication and boundaries.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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