DEAR PAYING: That Gabe earns more than you do should have been taken into consideration at the time you began living with him and his grandsons. Financial counseling might help you to determine what such an adjustment would mean in terms of dollars. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling is a reliable resource. Because these monthly financial disagreements could erode your relationship, please consider couples counseling in order to work out a plan that is fair for all parties concerned.
You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me.