Reset is the fifth and final step in the PACER model we developed, as described in our book Love. Crash. Rebuild.. It's the point at which couples recognize that the relationship they are stepping back into is not the same one that ruptured-because they themselves have changed. Reset marks the moment when new patterns begin to replace old ones and the couple can experience their relationship as something distinct, something shared, something more resilient than before.
When a relationship ends despite your best efforts to make it work, you might think "I just wanted to be loved." Perhaps you even convince yourself that you're not meant for the love you're seeking. You may even start to feel that relationships never work out for you, and no matter how much you pour into them, you always come out empty-handed.