One woman's journey: 'It took me until I was 40 to be brave enough to say I don't know how to be good at sex'

"Being able to say 'no' - it's huge, isn't it? This terror of displeasing people. I think it's a Catholic thing. I grew up with that phrase 'the last shall be first and the first shall be last'. Always putting yourself last. I thought that's what made a good person. I didn't understand the extent to which my whole character was shaped around pleasing others. I didn't even know I was doing that. I thought I was just being nice. It's so common, 'good girl' syndrome."

"It turns out that the simple ability to say no - and yes - is an unexpectedly large part of this. And not simple at all."

Read at Independent