"Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2 a.m., in the dark. Her: *applying strawberry lip gloss* Me: Why are you putting on lip gloss? Her: Strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice."
"Me: Haha, you're weird. Her: Want to taste? Me: Nah, I already know what it tastes like. Commence several years of late-night self-loathing and regret."
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