"Mom worked for almost two decades after her divorce, but could not financially make up for the years she spent as a housewife. The low-paying jobs she had while married - cleaner, waitress, and such - counteracted her higher income as an administrative assistant. She ended up grossing $575.00 a month from social security, despite the fact that she could have drawn against my father's social security allotment for more than double that amount."
"Maybe that is why she made a point of giving me a hundred-dollar bill every Christmas when I was a young mother. "This is just for you," she would say. I kept the money as long as I could, but inevitably I would spend it on an "emergency"- a kid's field trip, new shoes, etc. Still, I cherished this bit of independence in an otherwise codependent marital relationship."
Her mother worked nearly two decades after divorce but could not make up financially for years as a housewife. Low-paying jobs while married offset higher earnings later, resulting in only $575 monthly Social Security instead of over double that amount from a spouse's allotment. Independence and pride drove her to rely on frugal living rather than claim that benefit. She gave a hundred-dollar bill each Christmas to her daughter as a symbolic gesture of support and independence. The daughter treasured that independence and resolved to avoid her mother's outcome. The mother fiercely cared for incapacitated sons and died at 73 from hemolytic anemia, exhausted. In hospice she said, "I'm too tired for love," and death became escape.
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