"Noted psychoanalyst Don Carveth wrote, "The point of analysis is to get over yourself." While we often think of therapy as a support system, which it is to an extent, it doesn't merely aid self-esteem; good therapy helps curtail pride as well. Consider the implicit demands of what people tend to complain about. We're heartbroken over disapproval, breakup, failure, and loss, some of which is obviously more objectively meaningful."
"Perfectionists, in particular, immensely struggle with accepting limits, both internal and external, which, to them, signify internal ones. While undoubtedly struggling with self-esteem, they hold themselves to a standard that often can't be articulated; we only hear it in bits. A perfectionist may fear being disliked by a partner's friend group or worry about appearing incompetent in some sport. Zeroing in, most people can relate to their fears."
Therapy aims to cultivate the resolution to integrate an understanding of personal limitations and to temper pride through acceptance. Perfectionists intensely resist acknowledging limits, translating external constraints into unbearable internal failures. They impose often-unarticulated standards and fixate on isolated rejections, leaving them unwilling to tolerate any failure. Common fears include social rejection and being perceived as incompetent, which amplify avoidance and unrealistic expectations of instant mastery. Asking what rejections can be accepted typically reveals none. Love and effective therapy can help restrain the perfectionist's inexhaustible demand for more and foster realistic self-acceptance.
Read at Psychology Today
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