Your group has been friends for 40 years, and your system works. Everything is going fine, so are you seriously asking Miss Manners to barge in and spoil it all?
Miss Manners emphasizes that while deceptive invitations are wrong, your cooperative meals and paying your own way do not violate any principles of etiquette.
It's commendable that your group continues to prioritize fun and companionship over strict adherence to traditional protocols around splitting the bill.
There is nothing bad about people deciding to go out together and pay their own way or getting together for a cooperative meal where each contributes.
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