THE TRASH REPORT: Weather is Trash, Mark Wahlberg has an App for That, Millennials are Old, and Keiko's Legacy
Briefly

Brrrbrrr br brr brrrrr brrrrr!Oops, sorry, let me try that again: Welcome to the Trash Report!I'm Elinor Jones, taking a break from trying to convince my pug that she can walk on ice to write some jokes about current events for you, my sweet trash pandas.Let's go!
Weather is Trash
I'm writing this column from beneath a large pile of blankets that aren't doing enough, and if I can't get warm enough inside my house, I can't imagine what the last few days have been like for people who can't even get tents.
Read at Portland Mercury
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