THE TRASH REPORT: Tom Cruise and Ed Begley Jr. Are Relatable, We Owe Bats an Apology, and I, Elinor Jones, am now a Sports Journalist
Briefly

Hidley ho, Trash Pandas!Welcome to The Trash Report.I'm your best friend, Elinor Jones, here with the latest in gossip, news, nonsense... kinda whatever, this column can really go off the rails sometimes.Whatever it is, it will be words.Let's go!
Trash Pandas>Raccoon Dogs
Speaking of trash pandas, more information is coming out about the origins of the coronavirus, and signs are pointing towards a raccoon dog!
Read at Portland Mercury
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