Adding children to a relationship brings significant changes, often creating challenges. Roísín Tarrant shares her experience of falling into the trap of equating parental duties with affection towards her partner. Both she and her husband, who express love through acts of service, mistakenly believed that taking care of the children was enough to support their partnership. By consciously focusing on small, personal acts for each other—like filling a water bottle or making tea—they revitalized their connection amidst the demands of parenting.
"One of the biggest relationship traps I feel like my husband and I fell into when we had our first baby, and then it happened again when we had our twins, was getting into the habit of thinking that doing things for the children is therefore doing something for your partner."
"We found ourselves getting into the trap of being like, Oh, I made the kids dinner and, well, I washed all of their clothes, thinking that it was a way of showing love for the other person."
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