The article discusses the detrimental role of shame in trauma recovery, emphasizing that it undermines a survivor's sense of self-worth and contributes to their inability to forgive. Craig's story illustrates how deeply embedded feelings of shame can distort perceptions of one's character, leading to the belief that only good people can forgive. The author highlights that many trauma survivors carry the weight of shame, which is self-perpetuating and detrimental, suggesting that addressing these feelings is necessary for healing and rebuilding a sense of worthiness.
"I can't forgive him. I've tried for years, but I just can't," said Craig, referring to his father, who neglected him throughout his childhood. "I know it's because I'm a bad person. Good people forgive, and bad people don't."
While researching for my book, You Don't Need to Forgive, I discovered that in trauma recovery, shame is not defined by the emotions of embarrassment or feeling ashamed but by a much more detrimental experience. Shame researcher Brené Brown defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging..."
Collection
[
|
...
]