The stress you felt waiting for medical answers was awful; I'm sorry you went through it. It was compounded by a feeling of betrayal—how could they not let you know?
While it would have been helpful for your brother to let you know about his diagnosis, he didn't actually cause the stress. He didn't create the genetic predisposition, nor did he tie up your doctor's office for four months.
When we feel helpless, as medical uncertainties often make us feel, we want someone or something to blame. Try to release him from that blame.
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