Vulnerability Without Self-Trust Isn't Courage

"Over the past decade, vulnerability has become one of the most celebrated leadership virtues. We've collectively learned that sharing more builds trust, openness equals authenticity, and that the fastest way to connect with others is to reveal what hurts. Yet many high-achieving leaders are discovering a fascinating truth beneath the hype. Vulnerability without self-trust doesn't build connection; it creates uncertainty. Like opening the floodgates before reinforcing the dam, it can backfire and weaken authority, destabilize teams, and leave the leader feeling exposed rather than empowered."

"Vulnerability itself isn't the issue. It's your timing, context, and nervous system regulation. Remember, a fire can warm up a room or burn it down, depending on how it is handled. Why Leaders Are Confused About Vulnerability Brené Brown popularized the research that appropriate vulnerability strengthens trust and psychological safety when paired with boundaries and self-awareness (Brown, 2018). Yet what often gets misunderstood is the word "appropriate." High performers tend to swing between the two extremes."

Vulnerability is praised in leadership, but when expressed without self-trust and nervous-system regulation it creates uncertainty and undermines authority. Oversharing driven by stress destabilizes teams and leaves leaders exposed. Regulated leaders communicate steadiness, while dysregulated leaders transmit doubt. Appropriate vulnerability requires intention, timing, context, clear boundaries, and self-awareness to strengthen trust and psychological safety. High performers often oscillate between guarded withdrawal and relief-driven oversharing, both harming harmony and trust. Vulnerability that is intentional, grounded, and paired with boundaries provides clarity; vulnerability that spills out for relief burdens others and erodes sustainable leadership.

Read at Psychology Today