Survivors of family abuse often struggle to access anger due to feelings of guilt, stigma, or societal pressure to forgive. Expressing anger is crucial for healing, allowing survivors to establish boundaries and regain control. Misguided social advice suggests that anger is immoral, which undermines the importance of this emotion. Healthy anger serves as a boundary defense and is vital for maintaining integrity during the healing process. Distinguishing healthy anger from unhealthy expressions, such as resentment, is necessary for effective emotional rehabilitation. Anger conveys essential messages about self-protection and personal boundaries.
As Gabor Maté, M.D., points out in his book The Myth of Normal, "anger in its healthy form is a boundary defense," emphasizing the importance of embracing healthy anger during healing.
Maté explains that the process of healing "involves a reintegration of this oft-banished emotion into our repertoire of available feelings," highlighting the necessity of recognizing and expressing anger.
Maté distinguishes healthy anger from "blind rage, bluster, resentment, spite, venom, or bile"—emphasizing that the motive behind healthy anger is to maintain integrity and equilibrium.
Therapist Nicole LePera encapsulates the importance of anger by stating, "Anger is a messenger," indicating that acknowledging this emotion is crucial during the healing journey.
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