The article reflects on the emotional complexity of living with chronic illness, exploring the 'what ifs' of life and the longing for more time with loved ones. The author shares personal experiences of dealing with her mother's multiple sclerosis and her husband's Parkinson's disease, highlighting the emotional toll these illnesses take. While acknowledging the futility of wondering about a healthier life, the article emphasizes the importance of accepting the present and finding gifts in the reality of chronic conditions. It also contrasts the control one has over athletic performance with the unpredictability of chronic illness, urging acceptance and resilience.
Living under the shadow of chronic disease has informed my worldview and expectations in all ways. I've wondered what life would be like without this added weight.
I linger in the land of what if, even when I know it's not productive, and wonder what if I had more time with my parents?
I could have had this same line of thinking when I was a young, elite athlete. But if I wished to be stronger or faster, I could exert some control over the outcome.
It's an imaginary land built on too many 'what-ifs,' and yet it exerts its hold, reminding us of the unpredictability of life.
Collection
[
|
...
]