For the past two years, my husband and I have attended a holiday concert with our good friend Ellie, who lives two hours away. Ellie recently told a friend of hers how wonderful the concert was, and now the friend wants to come to town to see it. The problem? We do not like this person for several reasons, but Ellie has chosen to invite this friend to attend the concert with her. We feel slighted. How should we approach this with Ellie?
I recommend you not do that. You may be close with Ellie, but you shouldn't try to dictate whom she invites to be her guests to events. If you do, you will alienate her. Accept that if you want to attend the next concert you will have to buy your tickets separately, and when you encounter Ellie and her friend whom you abhor, be cordial.
Some relatives come once or twice a year from out of state to stay at my in-laws' house. For the past 20-plus years, it has been the same routine. They show up, but we never know ahead of time when or how long they are staying. We are expected to drop everything to go over there to visit with them as long as they are in town.
Yes, you can make your wishes known. What you are proposing is common sense and common courtesy. Tell these relatives you love seeing them but would like some advance notice when they plan to be in town so you can adjust your schedule and take them somewhere rather than sit for hours at your in-laws'.
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