Is there any way you can make "loud and obnoxious" more bearable? Maybe you can ask everyone to go for a walk outdoors, where it's acceptable to use outside voices. Turn on music and make it a dance party! Take mental notes on outrageous behavior as material to discuss with your husband after everyone leaves, and convince yourself that the chaos is part of your Thanksgiving tradition. Wear noise-reducing earplugs.
My sons are married and live quite a distance from me. I try to visit several times a year because I want to see my grandchildren as often as I can. Sometimes I stay with them; other times I rent an Airbnb. The problem is that I am a neat-nut. When I'm at their house, I empty full sinks of dishes, clean bathrooms, sweep floors, polish mirrors/windows, dust furniture, etc. I'll even do laundry if they want.