My Sister Is Being Cagey About Where She Gets Her Money. I Think She Owes Me the Truth.

"In the past year, both of us ended up moving back in with our mom, me because I went through a breakup (we lived together) and my sister because the friend she'd been living with left town and she didn't have the cash to get a new place. My mom isn't charging us rent, but we both contribute to household expenses and take turns getting groceries and cooking. I don't know where my sister gets her money for this."

"I have a full-time job and make an OK salary for our area. I'm using my mom's generous hospitality to build up enough cash to eventually rent my own apartment. My sister, however, doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one. She says she's working all day on her computer, but is cagey about what it is-maybe a book, but certainly not one she's sold (she's cagey about everything)."

"Every now and then she will do cat sitting for a family in our neighborhood, but that's like $100 each time. I'm worried that my sister is racking up credit card debt while living here, and that mom and I are enabling her. She also has student debt from a masters degree she almost completed but quit, but she has always refused to talk about that. She's certainly not making any payments."

"I'm going to say something you probably don't want to hear: Butt out. I know that feels wrong. You're both living under your mom's roof, you're watching your sister float through the days with no visible income, and your responsible-older-sibling alarm bells are screaming. I get it. On the other hand, your mom-the homeowner, the person whose hospitality you're both enjoying-isn't worried. She's not charging either of you rent."

Two adult sisters, ages 34 and 32, moved back into their mother's house; the mother does not charge rent while both contribute to household expenses. One sister holds a full‑time job and is saving to rent an apartment. The other sister has no visible employment, claims to work on a computer but is secretive, does occasional cat-sitting, and appears not to be making student loan payments. Concern arises about enabling potential credit-card debt. The recommended response is to avoid policing the adult sibling's finances when the homeowner is unconcerned, maintain personal boundaries, protect one's savings, and let the homeowner decide how to manage the situation.

Read at Slate Magazine