#family-and-parenthood
#family-and-parenthood
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#parenting #family-dynamics #child-development #mental-health #communication #psychology #relationships
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
23 hours agoMy Wife Is Struggling With a Very Basic Part of Parenting. I Can't Keep Swooping In to Save Her!
Managing emotional responses in parenting is crucial for effective problem-solving with young children.
#emotional-neglect
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours agoPsychology says the adults most likely to end up in therapy aren't the ones who had dramatic or obviously painful childhoods - they're the ones who grew up in households where everything was technically fine, nobody was cruel, and something essential was quietly missing in a way that took decades to find the words for - Silicon Canals
Emotional neglect in seemingly fine childhoods can have profound effects, leaving individuals feeling their inner world doesn't matter.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoPsychology explains people who grew up with very little affection become adults who are deeply uncomfortable being comforted - not because they don't need it but because need, expressed openly, was never safe, and the body that learned that keeps flinching from the very thing it was always asking for - Silicon Canals
Experiencing a lack of affection in childhood can lead to difficulties in accepting comfort and expressing needs in adulthood.
#family-dynamics
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the adults most likely to feel invisible in their own families are not the most difficult ones - they're the ones who made themselves so consistently available, so reliably capable, so quietly present, that everyone around them stopped noticing the person and started relying on the function - Silicon Canals
Reliability can lead to emotional invisibility within family dynamics, where the capable individual is overlooked despite their struggles.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the adults most likely to feel invisible in their own families are not the most difficult ones - they're the ones who made themselves so consistently available, so reliably capable, so quietly present, that everyone around them stopped noticing the person and started relying on the function - Silicon Canals
Reliability can lead to emotional invisibility within family dynamics, where the capable individual is overlooked despite their struggles.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says adults who have no close friends aren't necessarily antisocial or unlikable. Many of them learned in childhood that being vulnerable leads to pain, and they grew up assuming that keeping people at a distance is safer - Silicon Canals
Many people appear self-sufficient but struggle with deep-seated fears of vulnerability due to early attachment experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNot everyone who keeps their personal life private is guarded. Some people tried sharing openly once, watched it become currency in someone else's conversation, and simply adjusted the distribution list permanently. - Silicon Canals
Privacy often emerges as a response to the violation of trust and openness, not as an inherent trait of individuals.
#divorce
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago3 Steps to Setting Boundaries During Divorce
Renegotiating boundaries during divorce is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoChildren who grew up in homes where one parent was the peacekeeper and the other was the storm almost always become adults who can read a room in seconds but have no idea what they actually feel when nobody else is in it - Silicon Canals
Emotional intelligence can stem from childhood experiences in volatile family dynamics, leading to heightened perception of others but self-blindness.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who grew up watching their parents stay together unhappily often become adults who are simultaneously terrified of commitment and terrified of leaving. They inherited the architecture of endurance without ever being shown what it was supposed to protect - Silicon Canals
Children of unhappy marriages may develop relational paralysis, feeling unable to commit or leave due to learned endurance without understanding its purpose.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoI'm in my 30s and I just understood something about my father that therapy never gave me. He didn't withhold affection because he didn't feel it. He withheld it because in the world he came from, the moment you showed someone how much they meant to you was the moment you gave them the power to destroy you. - Silicon Canals
Emotional withholding can protect against vulnerability, revealing deeper love and care beneath perceived indifference.
Miscellaneous
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoPsychology says people who were the "easy child" in their family didn't actually have fewer needs - they just learned faster than their siblings that expressing those needs came at a cost - Silicon Canals
Children who suppress their needs to avoid conflict often internalize the belief that having needs makes them burdensome, carrying this pattern into adulthood.
#child-development
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoPeople who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals
Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoPeople who grew up being the one their parents confided in didn't become mature faster. They became adults who can't tell the difference between being trusted and being used, because the two things arrived in the same conversation and nobody told them those were different experiences. - Silicon Canals
Emotional parentification involves children taking on adult roles, leading to hypervigilance rather than true emotional maturity.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoThere's a particular grief that hits when your parent asks you for help with something they used to do effortlessly, and neither of you acknowledges what just shifted. You both pretend it's a preference. It's not a preference. It's the first visible transfer of authority that neither of you consented to. - Silicon Canals
Aging parents often disguise their need for help as preference, masking the underlying shift in the parent-child power dynamic.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoI raised my younger siblings more than I parented my own children because by the time I had kids I'd already used up something - a patience, a vigilance, a willingness to carry - that most new parents still have fresh. And nobody in my family has ever connected those two things. - Silicon Canals
Parentification—when children assume adult caregiving responsibilities prematurely—depletes emotional resources that affect their capacity for parenting their own children later in life.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoAre Your Parents Still Treating You Like a Child?
Adult children feel micromanaged by parents who haven't adapted their parenting approach, driven by parental worry and need for connection; redefining their role rather than pushing them away resolves the conflict.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals
Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
fromenglish.elpais.com
2 months agoI don't like my mother': Why do children decide to distance themselves from their parents?
Parents hold a key that grants access to areas of their child's life that no one else can enter a foundational intimacy. However, more and more people are choosing to sever that bond and throw the key away. It's difficult to quantify how many children have decided to stop speaking to their parents, although some studies point to a steady increase in recent years.
Relationships
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
fromThe Atlantic
2 months agoThe Father-Daughter Divide
Growing up, Melissa Shultz sometimes felt like she had two fathers. One version of her dad, she told me, was playful and quick to laugh. He was a compelling storyteller who helped shape her career as a writer, and he gave great bear hugs. He often bought her small gifts: a pink "princess" phone when she was a teen, toys for her sons when she became a mom.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoMy Boyfriend Is Very Wrong About What Makes Someone a Good Parent. I'm Not Sure I Can Marry Him.
He admires 'tiger parents.' He talks a lot about how the ideal parent is a strict disciplinarian, academically oriented, and pushes kids hard to set them up for future success. He thinks his teachers and his mom let him coast on his ADHD diagnosis, and vows that his kids will not 'get exceptions.' He thinks he would be more successful now if he'd had consistent parental pressure.
Parenting
Parenting
fromIndependent
2 months agoOur daughter only wants her mum - how can I step in to help soothe her and share the load?
Young children often prefer one parent; gently stepping back and rebalancing caregiving duties prevents caregiver burnout and supports children's developing emotional regulation.
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoI Missed Out on Something Crucial as a Child. I Can't Let That Happen to My Kids.
I really wish I could give you THE answer. Regrettably, thousands of years of human knowledge on this point has served up only this: It's a dang crapshoot. You have created two unique humans and sent them spinning off like tops into a very complex world. They may fight like cats and dogs as kids and become thick as thieves as adults, or they may be little buddies as kids and maintain (at best) a cool civility when forced to interact at weddings and funerals.
Parenting
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