The article debates the popular notion that self-love is a prerequisite for loving others, tracing its origins to Erich Fromm and later, RuPaul. It distinguishes between healthy self-love and extreme egocentricity, referencing philosophers like Iris Murdoch, who advocate for outward expressions of love. Contrasting views from Aristotle and Cicero suggest that self-love is essential for appreciating friendships and relationships, framing it as a foundation for a fulfilling life. Ultimately, while self-love holds value, it must be balanced to avoid becoming self-absorbed.
Iris Murdoch warned her readers that the proper direction of attention should always be outwards—love others, not yourself.
Classical philosophical traditions show that self-love is foundational for a good life and vital for healthy relationships.
Erich Fromm emphasized that if you can't love yourself, it challenges the ability to love others, yet extreme self-love may skew this perspective.
Aristotle and Cicero highlighted that a friend is 'another self' deserving the same love we reserve for ourselves, reinforcing the need for self-love.
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