Your friend was out of line. She should never have promised anyone the use of property that wasn't hers. And for her to ice you now for refusing to give it to her and risk that something so precious to you could be damaged is plenty nervy. My advice is to follow her example. Be cordial but distant, and do not permit her to make you the bad guy for saying no.
What's essential here is the significance of your heirloom sweater as a cherished memory rather than a simple piece of clothing. Such sentimental value encompasses deeper connections and respect for family history, which merits appreciation from those around you.
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