You seem to be tracking your wife through talking with her friends and looking at her communications. You obviously don't trust her. Yes, it is time to call BS. Present her with your fears and concerns. Follow up with hard evidence Columbo-style.
If you want to stay in your marriage, you should ask her, quite sincerely, to recommit. Counseling can provide a neutral space for you two to express your divergent views. Counseling will not save your marriage (it can oftentimes create a pathway for ending it), but I am a firm believer in the power of therapy to alter a person's perspective and behavior.
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