One of the most devastating moments of motherhood for me has been recovering from the trauma of a year of sleep deprivation only to discover that I am still tired, and I probably will be for the next 25 years.
I notice it most acutely...when I am with my psychoanalyst. It's a bone-tired, ready-to-give-up kind of slump. It is the draining of energy that comes from working...
Sometimes, feeling tired feels good. It is satisfying to feel the ache in my muscles after a pilates class, a swim in the sea, a good cry...
This kind of tiredness doesn't get better with sleep or rest; in fact, it seems to get worse.
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