"My mom taught me humans have two stomachs: An ordinary stomach and a dessert stomach. Her reasoning for this: No matter how full you are, you always have room for dessert. I believed this for such a long time... until I was a teenager and took biology in school."
"I thought my belly button was where my skin was tied together. I thought if I messed with it too much, my skin would come off."
"For whatever reason I thought that if something was wrapped in plastic and kept for a really long time, it would increase in value. My parents watched a lot of Antiques Roadshow, which is the only explanation I can offer besides being kind of a weird kid. So I received a wrapped game of Parcheesi for a birthday or something, and I kept it in my closet, waiting for the day it would surely be worth hundreds."
"I believed that my dad was an art collector. What kind of art did he collect? Glass-blown art. He would leave his beautiful glass-blown art pieces all over the house and sometimes even use them to light incense. Bongs. My dad collected bongs."
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