Through this lens, suffering is not the result of situations themselves but rather our attempts to escape them and purposefully distort circumstances and people into what we want them to be.
Children learn to avoid the pain of unmet needs by creating fantasy versions of their parents... ultimately, this is a passive solution, resulting in the outdated belief that we are not capable of meeting our own needs.
Difficulty accepting others often originates in parent-child relationships... children are confronted with the jarring discrepancy between the fantasy parent they've created and the imperfect version of them that exists in reality.
To heal, we must not only accept people for who they truly are but also recognize our inner life and unmet needs that we unconsciously recruit other people to gratify.
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