Once I started actually doing the research, I realized that my experience is actually very common - the diminishment of sibling grievers. It's through a lot of small actions. It's things like people asking how your parents are doing, but they don't ask you how you are doing. Or if they find out you lost a sibling, the first question might be, 'Were you close?' as if your answer to that will determine whether or not you're allowed to be grieving or the extent to which you're allowed to be grieving.
We grieve imperfect people. We grieve imperfect relationships, sometimes even more so or more complicated than if you were really close.
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