Stop trying to 'feel confident'
Briefly

Confidence should not be perceived simply as an emotion. It is a behavior that can be cultivated through practice and the development of effective communication skills. Many individuals mistakenly believe they need to feel confident to perform well, which can lead to a cycle of anxiety and underperformance. By focusing on outer tools for communication rather than suppressing negative feelings, individuals can express their ideas more effectively. This behavioral shift can lead to improved performance and, subsequently, a sense of confidence.
The misconception that confidence is a feeling to be waited on leads many to fail at critical moments, as performance improves with behavioral shifts towards communication. They overlook that confidence is a behavior, not merely an emotion.
Statements like 'don't be nervous' represent ineffective thought suppression, akin to trying to avoid thinking about a pink elephant. This struggle indicates that feelings of anxiety often intensify rather than diminish.
Outer tools for communication can assist in exhibiting confidence, as demonstrated by individuals like Jim, who despite having strong ideas, struggled to convey them effectively. This shift from relying on inner feelings to mastering outer skills is essential.
Confidence is often misinterpreted as an emotional state, leading many to believe they can simply feel more confident. In reality, taking action and employing effective communication strategies leads to greater success.
Read at Fast Company
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