Miss Manners: How does one thank the person who found a relative's body?

"Etiquette for what you should send the person who discovers your deceased relative? No. Any sort of monetary present will feel inadequate. Miss Manners encourages you instead to put the energy into that letter, thanking the gentleman profusely for attending to such a monumental and potentially harrowing situation with so much grace. Although, now that she thinks of it, a good bottle of wine might not be remiss."

"She lived alone, and sadly it was several days before she was found, along with her dog (who is doing fine). The person who discovered her body was a security guard in her building; he had a warm but professionally distanced relationship with my relative and her dog. He's been very kind and helpful through the post-death process of managing my relative's apartment, and I get the sense that the experience of finding her in the apartment was difficult for him."

"One Sunday morning, she asked me if I would like to come over and go for a walk sometime that week and then stay for dinner. I said, Does Wednesday work for you? It looks like the weather will be OK that day. On Tuesday night at 8:30, she responded, We can't go tomorrow now because I've been called about getting a CT scan done for my implant. She has been doing this for at least 20 years."

A relative died suddenly in her apartment and was found several days later, along with her dog, who is doing fine. A security guard in the building discovered the body and had a warm but professionally distanced relationship with the relative and the dog. He has been kind and helpful in managing the apartment and the family intends to send a heartfelt card to thank him for his frequent presence and assistance. Any monetary present will feel inadequate, and the family should instead put energy into a profuse thank-you letter; a good bottle of wine might also be appropriate. Another correspondent seeks advice about a longtime friend who repeatedly confirms plans at the last minute and cancels.

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