This was the end of February 2020, two weeks before the pandemic hit. While it would have been great to be with her during the pandemic to support each other, pandemic or not, I wish I hadn't done it and at least tried to see it through.
I left her house as she cried. I only reached out once in March or April of 2020 to check in when we were in the midst of the pandemic. I haven't reached out or heard from her since and don't expect to. I don't deserve her.
After calling me emotionally unavailable (which other women had, too, but I never acted on), she asked about my attachment type. She said she was 'anxious' but I had no idea what that was. I took a bunch of unofficial tests and they all suggested I was 'fearful avoidant' - apparently the worst one.
I'm doing my best now to work on that issue, I can't afford therapy now but certainly will when I can. It was nice to know at least some of what was keeping me from a real relationship.
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