"Earlier this year, I started taking myself out for solo dates here and there. I'd take myself out for drinks or for dinner. I didn't mention it to my husband because I didn't want him to invite himself to join. We share our mobile locations with each other, though, so I thought it was OK. Turns out, my husband has been suspicious of my evenings away and is now accusing me of being unfaithful."
"I've suggested we try couples therapy, but he insists that if I just admit it, he will forgive me and we could move on without professional help. Why did you not want to go out with him? Maybe that's what you need to talk about. Explain that you thought he would bulldoze his way into going with you if he knew, and add why you want to do things like that solo."
One spouse began taking solo dates and withheld that information to avoid a partner joining, despite sharing mobile locations. The partner grew suspicious, accused infidelity, left home, and demanded an admission despite denials. The suggested response is to explain why solo outings felt necessary, clarify fears about the partner insisting on joining, and disclose underlying needs and motivations. Vulnerability and honesty may help restore trust. If solo outings continue, disclose them as they happen. A separate conflict shows a spouse refusing household and pet responsibilities during a short trip, signaling deeper issues about shared duties and expectations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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