"She and I were best friends for the last 25 years. She's 55 and divorced, with a grown daughter but no man in her life. She's extremely lonely and has only us as emotional support. During the last year, she has had to move her 78-year-old mother (with whom she has a tumultuous relationship) in with her. Justine's daughter has distanced herself from her mother because Justine has erratic moods."
"If Justine is inventing things that never happened in order to justify her anger, the chances are great that she is mentally ill. Until she is willing to recognize that she is driving away the people who care for her the most, things may get worse. Suggest to your husband that if he can convince Justine to get the help she needs, you are prepared to forgive her for the hurt she is causing."
"Recently, she sent me a four-page letter saying how angry she was with me and my family about things that never happened. She invented transgressions, insulted my grown children and targeted my daughter-in-law. My son is furious. My husband, who loves Justine and feels like an older brother, says he wants to repair our family. I love my husband, but my first allegiance is to my kids, and I'm surprised and hurt that he isn't furious with her for attacking me with untruths."
Justine, 55, divorced and increasingly lonely, relied on the narrator and her husband for emotional support while caring for a tumultuous 78-year-old mother. She sent a four-page letter inventing transgressions, insulting grown children and targeting a daughter-in-law, which enraged one son and hurt the narrator. The husband, who feels like an older brother to Justine, wants to repair family ties. Inventing false events is presented as a sign that mental illness may be present. The recommended approach is to encourage professional help, offer forgiveness conditional on treatment, establish boundaries, and prepare for tense family gatherings.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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