In couples therapy, individuals with perfectionist traits often struggle to take responsibility, blaming their partners for misunderstandings. Their rigid thinking leads them to believe that their version of morality is universal, failing to grasp others' perspectives. Instead of acknowledging their role in conflicts, they focus on intentions, viewing themselves as blameless as long as their motivations are good. This paradoxical behavior stems from a deep-seated shame about needing to be perfect and can profoundly affect their relationships, making it essential for them to confront these issues in therapy.
To take responsibility, the perfectionist needs to address the shame awaiting them. Why they believe they need to be perfect should be answered before the question of why they demand perfection from their partner.
Perfectionists struggle with rigid thinking, believing strongly in right/wrong and 'common sense.' They may struggle with cognitive empathy, understanding why someone else may make a completely different decision.
This individual is a paradox: They’re highly conscientious, preoccupied with rectitude, yet unwilling to deviate from their fixation on being good to acknowledge how they influence others.
Perfectionists conceive of accountability as solely linked with intention. If my intention is good, then I'm fundamentally blameless, regardless of the outcome.
Collection
[
|
...
]