The letter from a grandparent expresses frustration over being restricted to a curated gift list for their grandchild, which diminishes the joy of gift-giving. The advice suggests following the list to avoid conflict with the parents, who are navigating the complexities of new parenthood. It emphasizes that at this age, the child won't remember who gave what gifts, and maintaining good relations with the parents is paramount. The grandparent is encouraged to find joy in supporting their children's choices, with the promise of more freedom in future gift-giving as the child matures.
Follow the list. They've asked twice (actually three times, considering the original list was an ask). Sure, they're being neurotic and controlling about this.
Every time you press this, you run the risk of communicating to your son and daughter-in-law that you don't approve of the way they're parenting.
See if you can find joy in purchasing the gifts they want simply because they want them and you're helping them to be the kind of parents they want to be.
There will be plenty of years to deviate from the list and shop to your heart's content.
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