The definitive marker of a person who finally stopped abandoning themselves isn't self-love, it's the small, unremarkable fact that they no longer rehearse what they're going to say before saying something ordinary - Silicon Canals

"Self-love is not the cure for self-abandonment. Years of affirmations, journals, mirror work, the whole inventory. They still pre-write a text to their own brother three times before sending it."

"The rehearsal happens before the small stuff. The ordinary stuff. The five-word answer to a coworker. The text to your son saying you'll be ten minutes late."

"You catch yourself running the line in your head before it leaves your mouth. Sometimes twice. Sometimes you adjust the punctuation in the imagined version, soften a word, pre-empt a misreading that hasn't happened yet."

Self-abandonment is often misunderstood as dramatic acts, but it frequently occurs in mundane moments. Many individuals rehearse their words before speaking, even in trivial situations. This internal editing, known as self-monitoring, affects daily interactions, such as texting or greeting acquaintances. Observations reveal that some people, like Donna, can communicate without hesitation, highlighting the contrast with those who mentally draft their responses. The focus should be on recognizing this subtle form of self-abandonment in ordinary exchanges rather than only in significant confrontations.

Read at Silicon Canals