Can Perfectionism Be a Form of Self-Deception?

"Perfectionism is the ultimate form of self-deception. Perfectionists tend to fluctuate between believing they're perfect, resisting the notion that they caused any meaningful harm (even to themselves), and believing they can become perfect, minimizing past harm with the excuse that they're engaged in meaningful self-work. On the surface, perfectionism is a way to avoid accountability. At bottom, it's a way to avoid a profound and chronic sense of shame."

"This form of avoidance frequently appears in therapy. One refrain: "I just can't get myself to do it even though I know it's the right thing." Another: "I believe that's right, but I just don't feel it." Both comments help the patient evade uncomfortable truths about themselves. The former comment implies a sense that one values what they say they do, despite their actions. The latter indicates that "feeling" is preventing them from changing; this is the argument of "I rationally know this,""

Perfectionism functions as a pervasive form of self-deception that masks a profound, chronic sense of shame. Perfectionists alternate between claiming perfection, denying responsibility for harm, and promising future improvement to minimize past damage. Perfectionism provides an avoidance strategy that reduces accountability. In clinical settings, perfectionists often state that they know the right action yet cannot follow through, or that they believe something without feeling it, using these positions to evade uncomfortable truths. Perfectionists externalize blame onto mismatched thoughts, feelings, or motivation deficits. Self-preservation and people-pleasing frequently outrank authentic values, making introspection and value clarification difficult.

Read at Psychology Today