I grew up in a house where money was discussed in whispers and spent in silence, and it took me thirty years to understand that the secrecy wasn't about the money. It was about the shame. And by the time I realized those were different things, I had already inherited both. - Silicon Canals

"The conventional wisdom about money and families goes something like this: if parents are open about finances, children grow up financially literate, and if parents hide the money stuff, children grow up confused. But that framing misses something fundamental."

"Shame and money are so tightly wound together in working-class families that separating them requires a kind of surgery most people never attempt. You just inherit the whole knot."

"Research on the distinction between these emotions makes the difference clear: guilt is about what you did, shame is about who you are. Shame becomes internalized as a negative belief about one's character or identity."

Secrecy surrounding finances in families is often linked to feelings of shame rather than a mere lack of information. Children may not understand the specifics of financial struggles, but they sense the seriousness of the situation. The distinction between shame and guilt is crucial; guilt relates to actions, while shame pertains to identity. In working-class families, shame about financial inadequacies can become internalized, leading to silence rather than open discussions about money, which complicates children's financial literacy and emotional understanding.

Read at Silicon Canals