“No” can be directed inward toward familiar patterns that feel comforting but pull away from well-being. Every behavior serves a purpose, including avoidant or self-defeating habits that help keep people safe by coping with needs. Some uses of rest and information-seeking are healthy, while other forms like binge-watching, doomscrolling, or neglecting personal needs can postpone responsibilities and emotions. Changing is difficult because emotional and rational systems can pull in opposite directions, even when someone understands what should change. Many “yes” choices happen on autopilot as repeated patterns that become predictable and unnoticed.
"Another kind of “no” that we don’t talk as much about is the one we sometimes need to say to ourselves when it comes to the patterns, habits, and behaviors that feel familiar, even comforting, but drive us away from the life and sense of well-being we’re trying to create."
"Every behavior serves a purpose. Even habits that appear self-defeating or avoidant are, at their root, attempts to keep us safe. The habits and patterns we’ve developed over time are ways our mind and body have found to cope, solve problems, and meet a need. This is worth acknowledging without judgment."
"The question is whether the behavior and patterns are moving us toward our goals and align with how we want to be showing up, or if they’re bringing us further away. There’s a difference between enjoying a few episodes of a show and using binge-watching to postpone responsibilities, emotions, or decisions; between staying informed and doomscrolling for hours; and between caring deeply and being supportive of others and neglecting our own needs in the process."
"Even when we can see clearly that something isn’t working, changing isn’t as simple as just deciding to stop. There’s often an internal tension where our emotional system and rational system pull us in opposite directions. We may know better, but we don’t always do better."
Read at Psychology Today
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