Expecting parents are faced with the challenge of handling a controlling mother-in-law's desire for frequent visits and involvement during the delivery. The article emphasizes the importance of the father in communicating boundaries, suggesting that he should take an active role in expressing the couple's wishes. It highlights the emotional labor often falls to women in relationships, urging the husband to step up and share the responsibility of dealing with family dynamics. The goal is to establish healthy boundaries while navigating familial excitement about the new baby.
In my experience, so-called controlling people are sometimes shoved into that position. Consider your husband, for instance: He seems to be mostly absent from your strategizing.
Your mother-in-law sounds like a challenging figure, and her plans for the coming months seem daunting. It is not your job to shoulder all the emotional labor in your marriage.
I am going to suggest that your husband communicate your joint decisions about visits with his family. His decades of experience with his mother presumably make him better qualified than you to express your family's needs to her.
Your whole family is feeling exuberant about the birth of your child, which is all the more reason for you and your husband to share the load.
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