Dr. Willough Jenkins, a board-certified psychiatrist, warns that telling kids to stop crying invalidates their feelings, saying, "Crying is a natural way to express emotions, and it's important for kids to feel safe by showing how they feel." This sentiment emphasizes how vital emotional validation is for children as they develop their self-regulation skills.
Ashley Pagenkopf highlights in her work that crying is deemed "developmentally appropriate" for all ages, noting that it serves as a coping mechanism that releases oxytocin and endorphins, which are crucial for promoting feelings of calm. She emphasizes that responding to crying compassionately enhances the bond between parent and child, nurturing emotional intelligence and resilience.
Pagenkopf advises parents to meet tears with compassion, saying, "Research has shown that a parent's response to a child's tears affects how the child can regulate their own emotions." Consistent negative responses can lead to poor emotional regulation in the child, hence the importance of thoughtful responses during these moments.
The Gottman Institute suggests parents ask their children about the events leading to tears after the moment has passed. This encourages children to label feelings—they must recognize sadness and frustration—and identify physical signs of being upset, promoting emotional awareness and understanding.
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