At 40, Eleanor reflects on her struggles of caring for elderly parents, feeling isolated, and facing workplace bullying. She grapples with fear of loss regarding her frail father while lamenting her stalled career and personal life. Isolated friendships and the hope of starting a family intensify her disillusionment, especially within a patriarchal society. Eleanor craves change but feels too vulnerable to pursue social connections, mainly due to overwhelming responsibilities from her past. The pressure of personal hopes unmet at this milestone only deepens her feelings of inadequacy and fear of the future.
It's just rotten to arrive at an important milestone feeling as though you don't like your life. It's hard to say which is more painful admitting that you hoped it would be different, or admitting that that hope has been disappointed.
You've pointed to a lot of domains where it sounds as though you want things to be further along. Career, romance, friendships, starting your own family. That's a big list.
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