In Slate's Care and Feeding column, a bride-to-be expresses concern about her friend Oliver wanting to bring his partner and her autistic son to her upcoming child-free wedding. She seeks advice on how to tactfully handle the situation, feeling torn between being inclusive and maintaining the established wedding atmosphere. The response emphasizes the bride's right to set boundaries for her event and suggests she directly communicate her wishes to Oliver, encouraging him to attend without the child to avoid changing the wedding's vibe.
Call Oliver to explain that you understand arranging child-care for his partner's son is probably extremely difficult, but that you'd prefer him coming solo than to having kids at the wedding.
No kids means no kids. Having kids at a wedding changes the vibe completely. Oliver should know this.
You have a right to be selfish on your day, and you can tell him as much. It's your wedding and that means you do not need to be inclusive or accommodating.
Make sure you end the call with Oliver confirming whether he'll be attending alone or with his plus one and no kid.
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