The article delves into the author's lifelong battle with agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder often misunderstood as simply a fear of leaving home. Starting from a young age, the author experienced profound anxiety related to transportation and public spaces, culminating in panic attacks. Despite her efforts to manage the disorder, she faced a severe decline in mental health in her early 20s, marked by intense fear and suicidal depression. Her reflections illustrate the ongoing struggle with distinguishing safe from unsafe spaces in day-to-day life.
I have agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder that takes its name from the Greek root words for market and fear. Most people think agoraphobia is only a fear of leaving the home.
Eventually it felt as if everywhere had become an unsafe space. There was a time in my early 20s, after years of intermittent panic attacks, when agoraphobia nearly defeated me entirely.
My first symptoms showed up when I was 8: fear of cars, buses, planes, a terror of nausea and a general discomfort when leaving home.
Speaking of which, I've had panic attacks in some of America's finest grocery stores: ShopRite, Star Market, D'Agostino, Albertsons, Gelson's and, obviously, Trader Joe's.
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